Worst blogger ever!!!

Here's more spam for your day

http://www.examiner.com/books-in-scranton/i-hate-monday-s-new-release-of-the-week-before-i-go-to-sleep-by-sj-watson

If I didn't just spend all of my money on eyeliner, and a flouncy summer dress (the cost of beauty) I would buy this book in a second. It’s the suspenseful version of 50 First Dates that I never knew I wanted. Maybe if I run to the library now (about four miles walking distance) I could get the last copy, or be a normal person for once and just place a “hold” on it through the library website.

Sorry my friends

I'm trying to get the hang of writing these articles, but I keep over-estimating myself. I wanted the new one to be out this morning, but low and behold, I wasn't even half-finished with it, but here it is brand new, and fresh off the server:

http://www.examiner.com/books-in-scranton/scranton-author-margo-l-azzarelli-talks-about-taylor-and-green-ridge

Thanks to my fabulous mother for just being awesome, and willing to listen to me try and interview for the first time, and for also writing an amazing interview worthy book!

First article

By the grace of God I got this article done! My writer's block was finally taken away and it's done!!!! Actually today was my deadline, so I really didn't have a choice :).

If you want to check it out here: http://www.examiner.com/books-in-scranton/4-great-things-about-books

It's not insanely witty or astounding, but it will do.

Hope you enjoy

Through a bad case of writer's block

I really don't know what my problem is. I have the ideas, and even sometimes the words, but when I write them down....nothing. It's usually just junk to me, and I don't like it at all.

Tonight I'm trying to write my first article for Examiner.com, and I don't know if I'm nervous because this is my first paying writing job, or I'm just so fried my ideas are just that, ideas. No meat, just cheesy phrases that mean nothing to me, and I don't want it to be that way. Now on this website I have to have an objective view on books. Which is, for me, slightly difficult, but slowly I'm learning, and hopefully I'll be able to write these articles easier like how I write my blog.

For now though, I'm stuck, and maybe just by writing this I can loosen something up, or completely hate it

Like talking to a wall

I'm slightly pissed off right now, which seems to be the status quo for the past few days, and the theme of my blog posts most of time. I do want to change that, my life is nice and entertaining sometimes, and I'd like to write more on here and maybe, just maybe garner a fan base somewhere.

Anyway, the reason I'm pissed off right now is my friend who shall remain nameless, but lets call him "Idiot." Now idiot wants to be famous. He has...some natural talent, but he really needs a lot of training. He wants to be famous, which is understandable since I want the same thing, so we were joking around the other day pretending to be models and what not when the pictures started to look really good. Well Idiot's did at least. I'm not going to sugarcoat it (coz I'd just eat it anyways) I'm fat. I'm way over my weight limit, and my body shape looks very disproportionate, so "really hot" pictures with my body don't work, but I did have some pretty ones (if I do say so myself) of my face.

After hours on the phone with Idiot trying to figure out which photos he wanted on Facebook, and then retouching all of them with just a simple Kodak software, I finally had an album of pictures I was really proud of (even mine, sans most of my body). It got rave reviews from a lot of our friends (including a guy that likes me), and Idiot's manager at a store that shall not be named. Said manager liked Idiot's profile picture so much that she wants to submit it to a contest the store is doing to find new clothing models.

Idiot calls me to tell me the news, I thought it was pretty cool. He said I should be stoked even though it really had nothing to do with me at all unless they use the actual picture, which I only hope they ask my permission, but since I'm not a photographer, and I don't have a copyright I really doubt it. Well Idiot goes on "yeah, WE could so work on this, put videos of ME dancing on Youtube. Have videos of ME lip-syncing since you said I did that so well, and yeah there could be behind the scene videos with you in it. WE could totally do this, and after every video we could put that one picture of ME, so everyone knows who it is, and anything you would like to do can go on MY site. I mean I can do the dancing and stuff, and you do the behind the scenes stuff so good. It could work."

Well, I would just like to say my little Idiot, it's not going to work. If YOU want to be the star, do it YOUR self. Now I don't want to sound like a petty bitch, but I am not a behind-the-scenes kind of person. I didn't work my ass of in acting classes, trying to make a name for myself somewhere to be pushed to the back burner because I'm not pretty or skinny enough for his taste. I know I'm talented though, and not because I've been told, or how long I've been trained. I feel it, and I put my heart into it, and even if I do work with idiot, its only going to be half-assed because I'm not his follower and I would be pissed with myself if I did follow him.

What hurts me the most is that by just the way he said it, he thinks I'm not good enough to take center stage, and he manipulated me with my own insecurities. He's my best friend, he helped me when I was at my lowest, sitting in a psych ward, and when I had that bandage around my wrist. He knows why I hate myself so much, and he fed on it, and now its all for his means. All he talks about is his problems, his dreams, his this, his that. I get a minute, he barely listens and then its about him. Well if he wants it all to be about him, fine. He can do it without me.

My "Review," on Reviews

I knew I shouldn't of clicked on it. I saw the picture in the sidebar and knew it could only amount to bad things...which it did.

I don't hate reviews, believe me, I usually love the most hated movies on the planet, and I put up with the inevitable bad reviews. Some of them are them are insightful, some of them are hilarious, but some of them are downright disgusting.

Last week I saw "The Twilight Saga: Eclipse," (cringe now if you must, but be warned you'll be doing it more later) I kind of liked it. Its still not how I pictured the book to be on film, since the script writer has a lot more poetic license then I thought, but it was better than Twilight (which wasn't very hard to achieve).

I read some reviews, and of course no one liked it, it was expected. The reviews were already written before the movie was even made. What got my goat (and no, it wasn't a vegetarian vampire) was the fact that some reviewers felt the need to not only to insult a groups intelligence, but everything about "Those Things," that love Twilight.

Thankfully I look past it, even being called a communist doesn't bother me anymore (being part Russian really helps that situation), but at least think of the kids your writing about. Did you ever really love something at that age that you thought was best thing ever, but you were convinced by some outside source that you were stupid to think that way, and that EVERYBODY hates it? Hmm, I thought I was the communist in this example?

If you don't agree with something, go ahead write it out, make your points, counter points, and all that jazz, but there is no reason, no reason AT ALL to hatefully trash a group of people that you don't even know, and if I made you sad, and guilty, I won't feel sorry. Everyone needs a good dose of their own medicine.

Oh and heres the so called "review," I read tonight that set me off, I wasn't going to put this on or name any names because I thought I was better than that, obviously, I'm not.

Please to enjoy (prepare to cringe):

http://www.pajiba.com/film_reviews/the-twilight-saga-eclipse-review-and-now-your-moment-of-zen.php

Trials of a Wimpy Actress

Sometimes I really hate acting. For example when a director is screaming at me over and over again to "Focus," until her face turns blue and mine turns red. It can really get to you sometimes, especially since directors are the kings and queens of the underhanded insult. What at first seems to be helpful criticism turns into an entire attack on your own character, and sometimes the results can be crippling to your confidence, which an actor needs a lot of.

I thought by now I would be used to criticism, that I was professional enough and smart enough to just let it roll off my back, but I'm human, and more importantly a teenage actress. An unstable tidal wave of emotion that could be triggered from the slightest comment, the quickest look, and I'm off. My mind going through every reason so and so would say that to me and why they looked at me that way, and every single time I end up thinking "I'm horrible, they hate me." After that thought I'm launched into a self pity jag that could go on for days, and once a whole week.

Thankfully a self pity jag is quickly relieved by stepping on stage and letting go of all stress, anger, and sadness, in a performance that would make Shakespeare cry. I'm not saying I'm insanely talented by any means, I'm just saying that knowing I gave the performance of my life is an amazing feeling. When it comes to opening night I only build on that feeling and the mixed energies of the audience, and I am free on that stage, I am soaring.

I'm asked why I'm an actress, and thats why, to feel freedom.

So maybe directors insult for a reason, they've been there, they've done that, they have seen the worst and the best the acting world has to offer. It kind of makes sense to make it like a "Survival of The Fittest" type game. Only the determined and mostly pigheaded actor can make it through a barrage of insults, mentally unscathed, ready to take whatever they dish out and put it to better use on the stage.

Basically directors are like parents they guide you, and teach you, and also know how to royally piss you off, but its all for your own good because they want you to be happy in the end and feel like you really accomplished something great even if your the only one that felt it, so be kind to your directors, and remember self pity before awesomeness.

Love, Marnie